RIB
by Tetsuwan Penguin
Summary: While visiting NYC with Reno, Astro finds himself in the middle of an Alien crime war and the MIB enlist his help. This story also mixes in some characters from "the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy", and you might find a few references to 'Star Trek', 'Dr. Who', and 'Star Gate'. I hope you find it funny.
1. Chapter 1

**RIB**

_Author's introductory notes:_

_This story was originally posted on the Astro Boy On-line forums. The chapter format was kept short so each chapter would fit into a single post which is limited to about 1500 words._

_This story is a crossover between the 'Men in Black' movies and the 'Astro Boy' 2003 anime series, with a bit of 'the Hitch Hiker's guide to the Galaxy' thrown in for good measure. You might also notice some stray references to 'Dr. Who', 'Star Trek', and 'Star Gate' as well._

_**Part one**_

**The **evening had started out as a typical summer's evening. Central Park was filled with happy people enjoying a free concert by the band shell erected on the great lawn. Vendors selling hot dogs, cotton candy, and other fast food from pushcarts were everywhere. Out by the Carousel things appeared normal, kids and young adults were riding and reaching for the brass ring. It was a moonless night, but the park's streetlights left very few dark places where someone could hid.

**Two** figures boarded the Carousel and took their places on adjacent horses. They glanced around as if they were looking for something, or someone. These two men stood out from the crowd by the way they were dressed. Each wore a well pressed and spotlessly clean jet black suit. They wore spit polished black leather shoes, and even had black shirts and ties. They also wore dark sunglasses. At night.

"I don't see him anywhere, K" the man with the dark complexion told his companion.  
>"He'll be here, J" the other man answered. "Omnicron is a very reliable informant. "I've worked with him long before you joined the team."<br>The Carousel started up, the mechanical band in the middle started playing a Sousa march, and the two men kept scanning about them looking for their contact.

* * *

><p><strong>Astro <strong>and Reno were wolfing down their third Good Humor bars of the evening. Reno was attending a month long seminar at Columbia University at the expense of the Ministry of Science, and he had begged Astro to come along to keep him company during his off hours.  
>"I don't know anybody in New York City, and you know I don't make friends that easily." Reno told him. "You're my best friend and we can hang out together and explore the city. It will be fun!"<p>

Astro agreed immediately, though he did have to convince Dr. O'Shay to let him go. They had been in NYC for two weeks now, and had been to most of the really touristy type attractions such as the Statue of Liberty, The Bronx Zoo, at least a half dozen museums, Yankee Stadium, and Coney Island. Tonight was their third time exploring Central Park.

They came upon the Carousel toward the southern end of the park, not far from the zoo. The ride was housed in an old octagon shaped brick building, and there was a short line waiting for the next session. The spinning platform slowly came to a stop and a crowd of people walked off, making room for the next group. Reno purchased two tickets, and handed one to Astro. They boarded the ride finding seats on two horses just behind to other men in dark suits. A strange looking person wearing a surgical mask over his mouth and nose, along with dark glasses mounted a horse on the inside of the platform next to them. The music started up again and the ride slowly gained speed. Reno was on the horse on the outside of the platform, he leaned to his left looking for the brass ring as the ride rotated.

* * *

><p><strong>K<strong> tapped J on the shoulder and pointed behind him and to the center of the ride. "There he is now!" K said. "We'll talk to him when the ride stops."

Another short individual, his head wrapped in a gauze bandage with small cutouts for a mouth, a small hole for his nose, and his eyes which were covered with mirrored glasses ran toward them along the platform in the opposite direction from its rotation. He pulled a weapon from underneath his jacket and fired it at the person with the surgical mask. The individual's head exploded, sending a tidal wave of green guts flying.

"Oh shit! We've been ambushed!" K moaned, jumping off of his horse and running after the being with the gauze bandage. J quickly followed him. The three characters ran past Astro, who jumped off of his horse and ran after them. Reno never saw a thing, he was still trying to grab a brass ring.

The assassin was too fast for J and K, but not for Astro. He used a short burst of power on his jets to catch up to the bandaged being and tackled him, skidding off of the Carousel platform, and onto the concrete floor of the building. The gauze wrap peeled off in the struggle, and revealed the face of a space alien. K and J were only seconds behind.

"Thank you!" K said, quickly displaying a badge and putting it back into his pocket.

"We've been after this guy, but he surprised us tonight."

"Sure thing." Astro said. "You do know he's an alien, right?"

K slide his hand into his vest pocket and pulled out what looked like a pen shaped flashlight.

"You shouldn't have seen that, I'm going to have to use this neuralyzer on you." K said.

He pulled the top cover open and held it up to Astro's face and pressed a button. The gizmo released a quick burst of light. Astro blinked and smiled.

"That didn't work on me." Astro said. "I still remember what happened."

"Are you an alien?" K asked.

"No. I'm a robot." Astro told him.

"Now what the heck are we going to do with him?" J asked his partner.

"Enlist him I suppose." K said. "What's your name kid."

"Astro." Astro told him.

"Well Astro, we could use your help here." K said. "We have a little Alien problem in NY these days and things have gotten a little out of hand and the agency is a bit short staffed. Would you like to help us? You get to work with the coolest high tech stuff, and wear the baddest black suit you will ever own."

"Sure!" Astro said.


	2. Chapter 2

**RIB**

_**Part two**_

**Reno** dismounted his horse as the ride slowed down and came to a stop. He found himself face to face with Astro, K, and J.

"Where did you go to?" Reno asked.

"I guess you missed all the action grabbing for a brass ring." Astro said. "I see you manged to get two of them."

K reached into his pocket and fished out a $100 bill.  
>"I'll give you fifty bucks each for those." He said extending his hand.<p>

"Sure..." Reno replied, wondering why someone would want to pay so much for two cheap, made in China, brass plated Carousel rings. He handed K his souvenirs and pocketed the C-note.

"I'll meet you at the hotel later, Reno." Astro said. "I've got some business to attend to."

"What's going on?" Reno asked.

"These guys need my help." Astro said. "Police work." he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Figures." Reno said. "You always HAVE to get involved. OK, have your fun."

Reno took off by himself, heading for Central Park West to catch the "A" train back to his hotel.

* * *

><p><strong>K<strong> fingered the rings he'd just bought from Reno.  
>"I should have though of it sooner." K muffed "Omnicron hid the information in a microchip inside of a brass ring. He set the holder up a bit higher than usual and expected us to use a grabber to reach it. I wonder how your friend manged to pull it out."<p>

"Reno is bit of an inventor." Astro said. "He brought his extension reach with him to try out on the Carousel."

"Well, that worked out well for us." J said. "So what was so important that Omicron got killed over it?"

K threw one of the rings into a trash can and carefully snapped the other one open. He used a pair of tweezers to extract a small sphere from it, and placed the tiny ball into what looked like an iPhone. The device soon displayed pages of information in some kind of Alien language. Astro watched, looking over J's shoulder.  
>"We'll have to have this translated by the computer back at HQ" K muttered.<p>

"Actually, I can read it." Astro said. "I can translate several hundred languages."

"Even Alien ones?" K asked.

"I can usually figure out written languages by looking for repeating patterns and applying various decryption algorithms." Astro said. "Computer brain." he added pointing to his head.

"Right. You're a robot." K acknowledged.

"Well let's get you to HQ and indoctrinated." K said.

**K and J** led Astro to a parked car on 5th Avenue. It was a late model Ford sedan, a rather plain looking full size model.  
>"Don't let its looks fool you." J said. "This POS looking car is more tricked out than the Batmobile."<p>

"Really?" Astro asked. "Well I'll be the judge of that. I've ridden in the Batmobile, I'll have you know!"

At K's instruction Astro stuffed the assassin he'd collared into the trunk.  
>They drove downtown and pulled into a side street. K pulled the car into a garage located in an old building. K held his badge up to a scanner on the wall which read his badge, and suddenly the floor dropped out below them. They were on an elevator platform descending beneath the ground level of the city. When the lift stopped, they got out of the car and started walking down a long, wide corridor. They had to walk through about a dozen huge doors, each one opened after scanning J and K.<p>

"This place reminds me of Control HQ from 'Get Smart'!" Astro said.

"That's where we got the plans from." K told him. "But we left out the phone booth at the end."

K reported in to the head of the MIB organization, with J and Astro behind him.  
>"We had a little problem, sir." he began. "An assassin from Blagulon Kappa must have been waiting in ambush and killed my informant before he could hand over the data. Fortunately, Omnicron hid the microchip in one of the brass rings in the Carousel's hoppers and I was able to obtain it from another rider. You own me $100 for that."<p>

"Put it on your expense report." C said. "Now who is this kid you brought in with you?"

"He helped us capture the assassin, who by the way is now in the detention block." K reported. "He was not effected by a neuralyzer, so we decided to offer him a position as a MIB agent."

"Of course he's not effected by neuralyzers, he's a robot. Didn't you notice that?" C laughed.

"Not immediately, and Astro offered up that information later." K said.

**C** motioned for Astro to approach his desk and he carefully looked him over. A weird smile of recognition came over his face, and he extended his hand to Astro.  
>"Welcome to MIB Astro. From here on you will go by the identification of Agent 'A'. K, why don't you and J go get agent A here outfitted!"<p>

"Very well sir." K said. "Come along agent A, let's get you to the tailor!"

* * *

><p><strong>About<strong> an hour later, Astro was dressed in the best fitting suit he'd ever owned. He looked at himself in a mirror and admired the jet black trousers, the coal black shirt and silk black tie, and the black wool jacket. His red boots were gone, exchanged for a custom fitted pair that looked identical to his own, but in a spit polish dark black (what else?). He slipped a pair of midnight black sunglasses over his eyes. Despite their dark appearance, which hid his eyes from the world, he could see though them as if they were totally transparent.

"Those are one way glasses." J explained. "Makes you look really BAD!"

"Our next stop will be the armory." K said. "We'll get you checked out on the gun range."

* * *

><p>"This is the MIB armory and target range" K told A. He keyed in a code on a terminal and a large heavy steel and concrete target moved into position at the end of a long narrow corridor. K pressed a button on the wall and a panel slid open revealing a huge selection of weapons. He pulled out a massive looking thing that resembled a cross between a cannon and a tuba.<p>

"We call this the BFG, or 'Big Fucking Gun'" K said. "Now watch this, better put on some hearing protection." K mounted a pair of ear muffs on his head as did J.

K aimed the weapon at the target at the far end of the range and fired. The blast was incredible, the report blinding. He called for the target to move forward and they could see a three foot hole burned almost completely through the six foot thick target."

"Is that all you got?" A asked. "Put up another target. Better make it TWO in a row."

K did as A asked. Astro aimed his left arm at the target and morphed it into a cannon. He fired a blast that made the BFG look like a squirt gun. Both targets had four foot wide holes blasted clean through them, and you could look through them and see a hole in the wall behind them. Screams of frightened people were heard coming from beyond the far wall.

"What's behind that wall?" A asked.

"The Woman's rest room." J said deadpan.

"Oops" A laughed.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note:<br>Astro REALLY DID ride in the Batmobile. See my Batman x Astro cross over story "The Knight is always the darkest before the dawn". It's rated "M" because of some descriptions of the sadistic Joker._


	3. Chapter 3

**RIB**

_**Part Three**_

**K **pulled out a smaller gun from the locker. In fact, it looked like something that you might expect to get as a prize in a box of Cracker Jacks, it was so small. J looked at it and laughed. "That looks like the dinky gun you gave me when I first joined"

"Well, It's obvious that Agent A doesn't need a big powerful gun with his built in ray cannon." K said. "But he could use a non-lethal weapon to stun someone."

"You kidding?" J laughed. "What good is that little pop gun?"

K turned to J with a stern look in his face. "You still want to learn things the hard way don't you?" He adjusted a setting on the gun, pointed it at J and fired.

"NO, you ain't going to shoot me with that …..." The weapon emitted a purple aura which enveloped J. He froze in his tracks, turned as stiff as a board and as green as the statue of liberty, and then fell to the floor with a thud.

"Don't worry about him." K said to A. "He'll wake up in about two minutes and not remember a thing. Might have a bit of a headache though..."

Exactly two minutes later J's color reverted from that of oxidized copper to his normal light brown. He started to flinch, and then got to his feet. "What the fuck happened?" he asked, rubbing his head.

"OK, enough of that demonstration." K said, handing the little gun to A.

* * *

><p><strong>K <strong>led Astro back to the chief's office, J followed slowly behind, he was still groggy from the effects of the stun gun.  
>"Well I see you got Agent A a nice fit on his new suit!" C said. "OK, let me brief you Agent A" he said.<p>

Astro stood at attention and listened.

"One of the best and worst kept secrets of the last hundred years or so is the fact that our planet is being visited by Aliens from space." C started. "They seem to really like New York, and a great many of them have settled here. In fact NY City's space Alien population has gotten so large that the government needed a special agency to keep track of them. We've kept their existence a secret from the general population, the country isn't ready to accept the facts. Most of these extraterritorial immigrants are good citizens, but we do have some problems with the undesirables that have turned to violent crimes. That's where the MIB agency comes in. We had been managing to keep a lid on things, our new residents disguise themselves well enough so that they fit right in with the rest of the City's weirdos. Half the population of Greenwich Village are now space aliens, did you know that?"

"Actually, where I come from we know all about space aliens. Our government hasn't been keeping it a secret. I have had to fight quite a few aliens in the past few years." Astro said.

"Yes, I know all about what's been going on in Japan." C said. "Seems all the really dangerous aliens seeking to take over the planet manage to land in Japan. Lucky for humanity you've been on the job."

Astro's face turned red and he shrugged his shoulders, in embarrassment.

"Did the interrogation team get anything out of our assassin?" K asked.

"Not much. He admitted to being an enforcer in the Vogan Mafia, but we  
>already figured as much." C answered. "He clammed up after that."<p>

"Let me have a crack at him." J said. "I'll get him to talk."

"Good luck with that." C said.

* * *

><p><strong>The<strong> assassin that Astro had tackled was strapped into a chair in the interrogation room. K, J, and A entered the room. The alien had three eyes, two noses, and a mouth that opened sideways, like an insect's. His hairy skin had a purplish hue to it, and he smelled like kangaroo vomit. He wore dark glasses over his eyes.

"Light bother you?" J asked as he turned up the lights in the room. Their guest squirmed. K grabbed the dark glasses off his face and the assassin squinted hard to protect his eyes from the room lights.

"He really doesn't like the light, does he?" J asked.

"You stinking MIB dogs!" the alien gargled in a low pitched voice. "I hope you get what's coming to you!"

"Tell us why you offed Omnicron." J demanded. "Or I'll make you really uncomfortable."

"Go fuck yourself!" the alien replied, barfing on the table.

"Hey, do we have any brighter lights in this room?" J yelled toward the door.

"Maybe this will do." A replied.

Astro aimed his search light eyes at the assassin and turned them up full blast. The room was now illuminated like the top of the Empire State Building.

"AHHHGGG turn that down!" their guest screamed.

"Then spill your guts." J said "though not literally!"

"Omnicron was playing both sides of the street!" their captive said. "He was a double agent. He fed you information that served his needs, and those of his employer."

"Who was he working for?" K demanded.

"An enemy of the Vogon's. He was working for the 'Brox."

"What the hell is the 'Brox?" J asked.

"The 'Brox isn't a what, it's a who!"

"Does it have a name?"

"The 'Brox used to be the president of the Galaxy, till he was impeached for being a thief. The guy's from the Betelgeuse system. You mean you never heard of him?"

"We've never been out that way." K told him. "The name please?"

"He'll kill me if he finds out I squealed."

Astro turned up his eye lights even brighter.

"OK OK! It's Zaphod Beeblebrox!"

Astro switched off his searchlights.

* * *

><p><strong>They<strong> left the room, leaving their guest still tied up in his chair, sweating.

Astro handed K a piece of paper.  
>"I've translated the contents of that microchip for you."<p>

K read the report slowly.  
>"Seems the Vogans intended to smuggle some dangerous critters down to Earth. Looks like the 'Brox and the Vogan's are about to start a crime war here in NYC. If we don't stop them we might have a swarm of Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts from the planet Traal on the loose.<p>

"I hate bugs!" J moaned.


	4. Chapter 4

**RIB**

_**Part four**_

**Three** O'Clock that night, at an improbability level of Ten billion, Two Hundred Seventy Six Million, Three Hundred Thirty Three Thousand, One Hundred and Seventy Three to One, the Heart of Gold materialized in the form of a blue and red British police telephone booth in the middle of Times Square. Zaphod Beeblebrox slowly opened the door and peeked outside. He quickly realized that he hadn't landed anywhere near Wriggly's Pleasure Planet, and that he was in the most backward and barely civilized system in the universe. "Crap!" he thought to himself. "Ever since that Ape-man Dent got into the ship's computer, the damn thing keeps coming back to Earth! It's like a damn boomerang!"

Zaphod took one look at the ships projection of itself and did a double face palm (Well he DID have TWO faces, one per head). "I knew I shouldn't have let Marvin watch the BBC on the computer. Now the ship thinks it's a bloody TARDIS!"

Normally Beeblebrox could deal with Earth. He thought he was able to outsmart most of the inhabitants of the backward planet, and Humans were easy enough to get along with, much easier than the Vogons for instance. The problem was he had tricked the stupid Vogons into coming to Earth. It hadn't gone that well for them the last time they showed up.

Vogon society consisted of a corrupt government, several crime families, and lower class serfs. Several years ago the Vogan Mafia had sent a fleet of ships to Earth, and used their holographic telepathic projectors to convince a good third of the planet that the world was about to be destroyed to make way for a hyperspace bypass, being built by the Galactic government. Millions of Earthlings sold their belongings and went on spending sprees thinking they had only a week to live. The Vogons beamed down and disguised themselves as bankers, tour directors, and art dealers. They cleaned up.

Beeblebrox had no love of Earthlings, but he had a good hatred of Vogons. After a night of binge drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, Zaphod came up with the idea of dropping a false hint to the Earth authorities that the Vogons were up to something really nasty. Omnicron Quinn was a distant 144th cousin of his, and he slipped the guy a few gazillion Altairian dollars to get the word out on the street that the 'Brox was going to move in on their action. He soon had the Vogons believing that he had an entire army at his disposal. Zaphod figured the stupid Vogons would turn chicken and leave. Instead they hired a goon squad consisting of Blagulon Kappa enforcers, and were now preparing to release a horde of Bugblatter Beasts. After Omnicron got zilched, Zaphod figured his plan had backfired on him, and that he'd better lay low somewhere far from the Vogons. Earth was the last place he wanted to be now.

* * *

><p><strong>K<strong> parked the Ford in front of a fancy looking restaurant in the midtown area. He pressed a button on his key fob and the car turned invisible. The three MIB agents entered the eatery and were immediately seated by a very friendly Maître d, who seemed to know K very well. K slipped him a few bills, and they were ushered in quickly.

"Besides having the best food in NYC, this place is a hotbed of Alien activity." K explained. "The waiter I've asked for knows everything that goes on in the Alien community. We can get some answers from him."

"Who owns this place?" J asked.

"A Dentrassis family took it over after they immigrated to Earth." K explained. "Their race are the best cooks and bar tenders in the universe. They are also mortal enemies of the Vogons."

K raised his hand and motioned to a short well dressed employee of the establishment. Except for his skin tone, which was a bit on the purple side, and a few extra arms, the individual looked quite human. He noticed K, and quickly finished taking an order at the table he was at, and then shuffled over to where the MIB agents were sitting.

"Hey Kay, good to see you again." He smiled politely. "Who's the new kid here?"

"Good to see you too Fizzben", K answered. "Meet my new partner, A."

"Glad to meet you kid." Fizzben said, patting Astro on the head and quickly noticing his metallic hair.

"So have you guys looked at a menu yet?"

"I'll have my usual." K said.

"I'm sorry, we're all out of Arcturian MegaDonkey today." Fizzben answered. "I can recommend the Ameglian Major Cow"

"OK on that." K answered "But just have him slay himself, I don't want to meet the meat."

"He'll be very disappointed." The waiter said.

"He'll get over it." K dead panned.

"True." Fizzben agreed. "And you?" he asked J.

"I'll just have a hamburger." J said.

Fizzben gave J a dirty look. "Who orders hamburger in a ten star restaurant?" he said under his breath.

Astro thumbed through the menu.  
>"I'll try the Babel fish sushi" he said.<p>

"Good choice." Fizzben said. "I'll bring your salads right away."

Fizzben returned with two salads. "Yours doesn't come with any extras" he said to J, pulling the corner of his eyelid down with his pinky.

"I need some information" K said. "What do you know about a Zaphod Beeblebrox?"

"Why are you interested in him?"

"Because I've got some information from a usually reliable informer that he may be involved in a crime war with the Vogons."

"You know, I heard something about that. The stupid Vogons actually believed that Beeblebrox was bringing his underworld army to Earth to put the Vogons out of business."

"What's so funny about that?" K asked.

"Beeblebrox doesn't have any army." Fizzben laughed. "He's the biggest con man in the universe. How do you think he managed to get himself elected president? He could sell snow to an Eskimo."

"Yes, but the Vogons, have brought in enforcers, one of them offed my informer." K explained. "I also have word that they are smuggling in bugblatter beasts."

"That would be bad." Fizzben frowned. "Still I don't think you'll find Beeblebrox on Earth. Of course Zaphod is crazy enough to show up just to watch and gloat."

"What does this Beeblebrox look like?" K asked.

"Tall, dark, handsome, and very charming." Fizzben said softly. "Oh and he has two heads and three arms. You can't miss him."


	5. Chapter 5

**RIB**

_**Part five**_

**Fizzben** brought their meals, easily carrying everything over at once. He had four hands after all. The waiter stood by the table quietly while K, J, and A took their first bites of the food.  
>"How is everything?" he asked.<p>

"Excellent!" K told him.

"Best Sushi I've ever had!" A added.

"My burger is a bit too well done." J complained.

"Do me a favor, K." Fizzben said. "Don't bring this hooligan in here anymore. He has absolutely no class."

"It's his upbringing." K sighed. "I have another favor to ask you, do you know where we can find a member of the Vogon underworld with some standing? I want to hear what's going on from their point of view."

"You're in luck there." Fizzben told him. "He's having dinner in a private room in the back of this establishment" Fizzben took a quick look at his watch. "I'd wait another twenty minutes before wandering back there. He'll be having his after dinner tea by then."

"Why don't we just barge in on him right now?" J suggested.

"Forget it kid!" K answered. "The one thing you don't want to do is to watch a Vogon eat dinner!"

* * *

><p><strong>In<strong> a private soundproofed room at the very back of the restaurant, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was enjoying a mug of imported Neptunian tea. He felt rather full after having finished five orders of scintillating blue jeweled scuttling crabs. Suddenly, he was interrupted by a voice from behind him.

"Hello Jeltz!" K greeted the ugly green overweight being. K tried not to look directly at the Vogon, because as like most members of his species, Jeltz wasn't that easy to look at, having about as much sex appeal as a road accident.

"What have I done to attract the attention of a member of MIB?" Jeltz asked.

"Don't play stupid with me, Jeltz." K answered. "I have it on good authority that your family is in the process of smuggling in bugblatters. You know they are a banned species on this planet."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Jeltz said in a huff. "Where did you hear that ugly lie? Wait! Don't tell me, have you been talking to Beeblebrox?"

"Actually not yet, though he is on my list of beings of interest." K answered. He grabbed the Vogon's chair and quickly kicked one of the legs out from under it. Prostetnic fell to the floor with a deadening splat.  
>"That is for offing Omnicron." K yelled. "We have your Blagulon Kappa assassin in custody by the way."<p>

"I did you a favor 86ing him." Jeltz roared. "He was working for the 'Brox!"

"Actually, I think he was framed by this Beeblebrox." K yelled back. "Zaphod was probably looking for a way to get you guys out of his way, and I think he intended to use the MIB to his own end. So save your blubbery ass and tell me where he is."

"I actually don't know that." Jeltz answered. "But I have some connections, I might be able to find out for you."

* * *

><p><strong>Zaphod<strong> banged his fists on the control panel again, but the Heart of Gold refused to power up its Infinite Improbability Drive.

"How many times do I have to tell you that the ship is going to require 72 hours to regenerate the power cell?" Marvin the paranoid android moaned. "You overtaxed the ship's energy supplies playing your Disaster Area CD's so loud." He added.

"Well if I'm stuck on this stupid rock for another three days, I think I'd better find a good party." Zaphod said. He walked into a water closet and took a good look at himself in the mirror. Zaphod pulled a comb out of his pocket and carefully touched up the hair on both of his heads.  
>"I look Amazing!" he muttered out loud.<br>"See you later Marvin!" Zaphod shot out as he walked out of the ship and headed uptown on Broadway.

"Know any good jokes?" Eddy the computer asked Marvin. "Looks like we're stuck with each other for the next three days!"

"I don't think I can stand that!" Marvin moaned.

"Knock knock" Eddy started.

"You've got to be kidding!" Marvin sighed "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I have to play knock knock jokes with a stupid computer! I'm either going to have to explode myself, or go outside and take a walk. Not a very good choice, but it would be a shame if someone had to peel me off the walls."

Marvin left the ship and started walking. He tried crossing the street, but bumped into something invisible. He quickly shifted his vision into the x-ray spectrum and noticed the late model Ford illegally parked in front of a ten star restaurant. Marvin tried the door to the car and found it was open. He got into the back seat and sat down.

"Stupid humans left this auto-car unlocked." he thought. "Think I'll just sit here and take a nap."


	6. Chapter 6

**RIB**

_**Part six**_

**K** dragged the vogon out of the restaurant and into the street. The blubbery alien was still a bit groggy from the effect A's stun gun. K pressed the button on his key fob and the Ford re-appeared.

"Throw him in the back seat," he told J. He and A got in the front seat as J opened the rear door, to find Marvin sleeping.

"Hey, there's a strange looking Robot asleep in the back seat!" J said.

A and K turned around and noticed Marvin. "How the hell did he get in the car?" J asked.

"I think the auto lock button is on the fritz again." K muttered. "At least it looks like nothing was stolen. Still I wonder how this robot even found our car."

"Easy, enough." A said. "His vision extends into the X-Ray spectrum, so the car's invisibility cloak won't work on him."

J gave Marvin a few shakes, and then a punch in the arm. The paranoid android woke up.

"It's not morning yet is it?" Marvin asked looking around. "Just when I was getting to the good part of a really depressing dream you had to wake me up."

"Who are you and where did you come from?" J asked.

"You can address me as Marvin, and we're from somewhere near Betelgeuse I think." Marvin replied. "We were supposed to be hiding out on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet, but Zaphod insisted on programming the flight computer himself. So naturally we ended up on this god forsaken planet. It wouldn't have been so bad if Ex-President Beeblebrox hadn't mis-managed the ships power reserves, so now we're stuck on this rock until the Heart of Gold can regenerate its power core."

"Heart of Gold?" K asked.

"You've never heard of it?" Marvin asked. "Most advanced ship in the Galaxy. It's powered by the prototype Infinite Improbability Drive. So naturally Zaphod stole it. We've been on the run ever since."

"I need to talk with this Zaphod fellow right away." K said. "Do you know where he is?"

"He said something about looking for a party to crash." Marvin answered. "Always leaves me alone to sulk by myself. This time I decided to just go for a walk, I'd rather be alone than listen to the ship's computer play knock knock jokes."

"Maybe I could get Marvin to help me find this Zaphod guy." A said.

"Good idea." K agreed. "J and I will drag the Vogon back to HQ for some more interrogation. He hasn't told us everything, and I think he's lying about the bugs."

Astro helped Marvin get out of the car, and then stuffed the Vogon into the back seat. He had to use all three seat belts to tie down the fat alien. He watched as the car drove off and then turned to Marvin.

"You're not a dumb human, you're a robot." Marvin told Astro. "At last someone I won't have to talk down to"

"Err thanks, I think" Astro replied.

"So I guess we need your help to find Zaphod Beeblebrox." Astro said. "Any ideas?"

"Well I haven't been around him all that long," Marvin said "But he seems to like parties where he can be around lots of attractive female members of humanoid species, and dumb humanoid males. In other words, sleazy nightclubs and bars."

"Well that doesn't help much," Astro sighed. "This city must be full of places like that. I wouldn't know where to start looking."

"A good place to start might be where we parked our ship." Marvin said as he started to walk. "I know which direction Zaphod was heading."

"Good idea." Astro agreed, and he followed Marvin.  
>They walked a few blocks uptown toward the east side toward Times Square. Sitting on a small island block between Broadway and Seventh Avenue, right next to a statue of George M. Cohan, and looking completely out of place, was a blue and red British police telephone booth.<p>

"That's your ship?" Astro asked.

"I suppose it does look like a bit like something from Gallifrey." Marvin sighed, "But its appearance is only a delusion caused by a residual improbability field."

"So which way did Zaphod go?" Astro asked.

"That way." Marvin pointed north on Broadway. "It shouldn't be too hard to locate him, he's not very particular and doesn't like walking. The first loud nightclub or bar we find will probably be where he's passed out."

Marvin and Astro walked along Broadway. Astro put his hands up to his ears and turned up his hearing.

"What are you doing?" Marvin asked.

"I can increase my hearing by 1000 times." Astro told him. "I'm listening for the sound of a crowd having a good time."

"Only 1000 times?" Marvin said. "My audio receptors can be tuned to 10,000 times that of a humans. Let me give it a try."

Marvin slowly rotated his head.  
>"That did it." he complained. "I've located Mr. Beeblebrox. I could hear him bragging about his ego. He's in a hotel ball room about two blocks from here. I'll lead the way."<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**RIB**

_**Part Seven**_

**Astro and Marvin** walked through the front entrance of the small hotel. Except for the nightclub located in the hotel's basement, which appeared to be a first class act, the rest of the establishment was a dive that you wouldn't want to spend the night in. There was a rather long line waiting to descend the staircase to the basement, where 'Club WTF' was giving it's patrons a wild time. The vibration of heavy metal acid rock shaking the floor below them. As they pushed their way toward the front of the queue a bouncer dressed in an electric day glow polyester zoot suit spotted them and yelled out.

"Hey, no robots allowed!", he yelled pointing at Marvin.

Astro grabbed the guy by his collar and pointed to the paranoid android beside him.  
>"You mean my buddy can't come in?" Astro asked<p>

"Like I said, we don't allow robots, or low class aliens." the bouncer pushed Astro aside. Astro allowed his grip on the guy's collar to be broken.

"What about me?" Astro demanded.

"You're cool, you can enter."

"Really?" Astro asked. "Well I also happen to be a robot!"

Astro grabbed his own head with both hands and twisted it back and forth, and then lifted it off his shoulders. He held his head a good foot above his body, and then lowered it back into position and locked it into place. "See" he said.  
>The bouncer's eyes glazed over as Astro stared at him face to face.<p>

"Now listen. My buddy Marvin and I are going downstairs. You want to argue with MIB?"

Astro reached into his vest pocket and extracted a neuralyzer. He held the device up to the bouncer's eyes and clicked the power button. The pen shaped gizmo issued a single pulse of light and went dark.

"Sure, you two go right ahead downstairs. Have a good time!" The bouncer told them.

"Don't worry, we won't." Marvin groaned.

* * *

><p><strong>Zaphod<strong> was standing next to the bar with drink in each of his three hands. He yelled over to the bar tender. "Almost got it right this time monkey breath!"  
>Several very intoxicated large breasted women were clinging to Beeblebrox. The two headed alien motioned for the bar tender to mix up several more cocktails for his new friends. As he turned around he spotted Marvin and Astro walking into the room.<br>"Hey Marvin!" Zaphod yelled out. "You finally decided to quit being so square and party with me? Who's your buddy in the dark suit?"

"He's with the Men in Black, and he wants to talk to you." Marvin replied.

"Yeah, I can see that." Zaphod said.

"I think you'd better come with me, Mr. Bebblebrox." Astro told him. "You're in enough trouble right now, and you'd better be glad the MIB found you before the Vogons did."

"Zarks!" Zaphod muttered. "You mean the Vogons are on this rock too?"

"Got that right." Astro said, as he held his neuralyzer in front of Zaphod and zapped him.

It was a strange sight as the two headed alien limped uptown with one arm over Astro's shoulder, one over Marvin's, and the third arm down his pants, scratching his balls. They entered the secret side doorway into the MIB HQ, and Astro lead Marvin and Zaphod downstairs to the interrogation room.


	8. Chapter 8

**RIB**

_**Part Eight**_

**K and J** were in C's office when Astro entered with Marvin and Zaphod.

"I found him." Astro said, "With some help from Marvin, here." he added.  
>Zaphod was still a little groggy and he plopped down in the nearest chair he could find.<p>

"What did you do to him?" K asked.

"I neuralyzied him." Astro said. "I thought it was only supposed to remove very recent memories."

"Only on humans." K said. "It can have other weird effects on aliens. "Let me see your unit."

Astro handed K his neuralyzer. K looked at it for a few seconds and then handed it back to Astro.  
>"You had it set on discombobulate." K laughed. "Which in Zaphod's case was probably the right setting."<p>

"Hey fool!" J yelled at K. "You did that to ME the first time we met. I was walking into walls for a good half hour after that!"

Zaphod's four eyes slowly uncrossed and he became aware of his surroundings.  
>"Where the Zark am I?" he asked.<p>

"You're in MIB HQ." C told him. "You were brought in for questioning. Seems you got yourself in the middle of a gang war with the Vogons. Care to enlighten us?"

"Shoot man, that was a Joke!" Zaphod cried out. "When I heard that those retard bureaucrats were moving in on Earth, I thought I'd give them a line of bull and laugh as they ran away scared. I didn't think they'd resort to a bug army."

"So you don't have your own army?" K asked.

"Well, technically as the president of the Galaxy I did," Zaphod started, "But since technically the president of the Galaxy is really only a figure head, and since I technically I was impeached from that position, even though technically having never been officially removed from office I could still claim to be in charge, though I'm technically only a figure head, though the army doesn't know that..."

"What?" K asked.

"He's shoveling it," Astro said, "With a front end loader."

"Yeah, so I figured." K agreed.

"So, what do we do?" J asked.

"Sorry, my mind is a blank on this one." K said.

"Well someone better think of something." C pointed out. "We're facing a bug invasion from the Vogons." C pressed a button on his desk console and two armed guards entered the office.  
>"Please escort Mr. Bebblebrox to his quarters." C said.<p>

"What do you mean by that?" Zaphod asked.

"It means, we're keeping you on ice for a while." C said. '"You'll be treated well, MIB wouldn't want the president of the galaxy to complain."

Zaphod was escorted out of the room to a holding cell on another level. As soon as he was out of earshot, C motioned for K to speak up.

"Jeltz still insists that the bug story was Zaphod's invention, and that Omnicron was fed that information from him." K said. "I agree with you, the stinking Vogon is probably lying."

"Well we'll interrogate him some more later" C added.

"I think I have an idea." A interjected.

"Let's hear it." C insisted.

"Well, we've got both Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz and Zaphod Beeblebrox in custody, and neither one knows that we have the other one here." Astro said. "So why don't we get them to interact in a controlled setting and see what happens?"

"Zaphod will probably end up pooping in his pants." Marvin said.

"Maybe, he'll be braver if you are with him." A suggested.

"I doubt it." Marvin moaned. "He never gave a mega-dingo's kidneys about me."

"Jeltz doesn't know that." A said.

"I think I see where you're going with this." K said. "It might work. We'll set things up and cross our fingers."


	9. Chapter 9

**RIB**

_**Part Nine**_

**Prostetnic **Vogon Jeltz put on the most defiant look possible for a Vogon. This didn't amount to much, since Vogons don't have any facial muscles in any of the right places to look fierce, defiant, mad, or anything.  
>"You can't hold me, you don't have any evidence." He said.<p>

J held his breath and got face to face with the ugly alien.  
>"Actually, we can hold you for twenty four hours, longer on weekends and holidays." He said. "But someone actually wanted to bail you out, so we are going to release you in his custody."<p>

It was really too bad that Vogons can't put a look of surprise on their faces, since that remark really did surprise Jeltz. No Vogon would ever bail another one out of jail, not without without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters anyway.

J banged on the door to the holding cell to alert a guard standing just outside. The small window in the door slide open from the outside and J motioned to the guard to open the door.  
>"I'll escort you to the front desk where you will be processed for release." J told Jeltz, motioning for him to exit the room.<p>

"Aren't you going to free me from these handcuffs?" The Vogon asked.

"In due time." J told him. "First let's do the paper work."

"Of course," the Vogon agreed, "Must do the paper work first." Vogons are true bureaucrats, and love paper work, it being their one true joy in life.

**J** opened the door to another room and shoved the Vogon through the door. It was a singularly white room with only a large black desk in the middle for furniture. C sat behind the desk, now wearing the powered wig of a proper English barrister. Standing at the right side of the desk, was Zaphod Beeblebrox, who was busy filling out a large pile of papers. Next to him was a tall silver metal robot, with a rather bored look on his face.

"Ah, I see they've fetched you." C said looking up from his computer monitor. "Mr. Beeblebrox has agreed to pay for your bond, so you will be free to go as soon as you fill out the required paperwork."

The MIB chief pushed a pile of forms toward the Vogon and handed him a sharpened #2 pencil.  
>"If you have any questions, please ask." He said. "Once you fill out the acceptance forms, and the guarantee of availability for questioning form, plus all the wavers of any wrong doing against your person by the MIB forms, you will be free to go in the custody of Mr. Beeblebrox."<p>

Jeltz showed no emotion in his facial expressions, he just grabbed the pencil and started to rapidly fill in the required information to all the paperwork assigned him. He did seem to enjoy this however. Jeltz quickly finished filling out the pile of paperwork, and handed it to C.

"You have a very satisfactory bureaucracy here" he said.

Zaphod handed his stack of papers to C. He knew that this part of the ruse was pure bull shit designed to make the Vogon feel at home, so what he had written on the forms was just doodling. C kept a straight face as he glanced at what Beeblebrox had written down. The MIB director reached into his desk drawer and extracted a set of keys.  
>"All of the paperwork seems to be in order." he smiled, unlocking the handcuffs from Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz's wrists. "I'll be right back with a guard to escort the two of you out." he added, walking out of the room and locking the door behind him.<p>

**Zaphod** called upon all of his coolness to stifle the queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was the Vogon who broke the ice.  
>"Zaphod Beeblebrox," he said. "I am at a bit of a loss to understand why you are here to post my bond."<p>

"Call it a peace offering." Zaphod blurted out. "It is obvious to me that you have misunderstood my intentions, and that has gotten both of us in deep shit with the MIB."

"I think your intentions were made quite clear, Mr. Ex-President." Jeltz blurbeled. "You insinuated that you were bringing in soldiers to take over my operations on Earth. Really now, did you expect my family to just pack up and leave?"

"Hey, it was just a joke!" Zaphod spat out. "Don't you Vogons have a sense of humor?"

"No, we don't" Jeltz answered. "We deal only in facts, and we resent those who would dare lie to us for their own amusement."

Zaphod extended his hand, and then thought better of the idea, but it was too late.  
>"Look, let's make up and start over with this, maybe we can come up with a deal that benefits both of us."<p>

Jeltz ignored Zaphod's offer, he kept his own hands by his sides.  
>"It's too late for that, Beeblebrox." Jeltz said. "Things have been put into motion. In a way, it's too bad you don't have an army here on Earth, those Bugblatter beasts are going to be very disappointed when they get here. Oh well, there are enough homeless Earthlings and off worlders enough to satisfy their hunger long enough."<p>

"Hey, you've got to recall them!" Zaphod replied.

"It's too late for that!" Jeltz said. "They are already in hyperspace, and will be here in 48 hours. I can contact them when they arrive and cancel their contract, but they will insist on a brief shore leave."

"Shore leave!" Zaphod yelled. "They will eat anything that moves!"

"Like I said, this planet has enough undesirables who won't be missed." Jeltz said. "Maybe if we're lucky a few MIB's will be part of the carnage."

**The** door opened, and two ape like aliens stood at the door, with C standing behind them.  
>"My guards will escort you two to the street level." He said. "Zaphod, keep Mr. Jeltz in your company until we have determined that he is no longer a being of interest. We will return your bond when that happens. Until then, the Vogon is your responsibility."<p>

A, J, and K watched on the video monitor as Jeltz left the building with Zaphod and Marvin.

"Do you think he bought that?" A asked.

"Hook, line, and sinker." K answered. "Vogons are so trusting if you feed them bureaucratic baloney. He never even gave a thought to the room being bugged."

"I knew that Jeltz was lying about the Bugs." K said. "I hope Mr. Beeblebrox can stick close to that Vogon long enough to get us the information we need to put a stop to this invasion before anyone gets eaten, though I doubt that Mr. Beeblebrox will keep up his end of the bargain very long."

"I wouldn't blame him, I wouldn't want to hang out with that Vogon if I didn't have too." J added.

"Don't worry." A said. "Marvin has his instructions, and will carry them out."

"You trust that robot?" J asked.

"I'd trust him with my life." A said. "Don't forget, I'm a robot also. The two of us like blood brothers."


	10. Chapter 10

**RIB**

_**Part Ten**_

**The** next thing he knew, Zaphod Beeblebrox found himself standing in the street alone with a fat, ugly, pissed off Vogon, and depressed robot with a slight superiority complex. Without saying a word, Marvin seemed to be gloating over the Betelgeuseian's predicament. The chromium skinned android gave a brief glance at his two headed companion, and then turned to face the Vogon.

"I told him it was a dumb idea." Marvin moaned. "But does anybody ever listen to me? I have a brain the size of a planet, yet nobody ever thinks my opinions are worth anything. Everybody thinks they are so much smarter than I am, and they never listen to me."

"You'd make a great bureaucrat." Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz told Marvin.

"Hey, Jeltzie!" Zaphod said, giving the Vogon a friendly punch to the shoulder. "Maybe we can cut a deal here. You tell me where those bugs are going to land, and I'll give you free transport off this rock."

"You know, he does have a rather nice spaceship." Marvin added. "We stole it."

The Vogon's facial expression suddenly showed a slight bit of interest.  
>"I've heard about that through the grapevine, Mr. Ex-President of the Galaxy." Jeltz gargled. "So you really did walk off with the Heart of Gold, didn't you?"<p>

"We'll I was actually just sorta test piloting her you know." Zaphod said. "I was going to return the ship back to the space yards, but the cops were chasing me."

"Very well." Jeltz answered, returning Zaphod's jab by punching Bebblebrox in the arm. "I know you're going to let the MIB know whatever I tell you, you double crossing worm. So in exchange for the reward on returning the Heart of Gold, I'll give you the information you want."

"I can't do that." Zaphod complained. "I'm not going to hand over my ship to your stinking Mafia."

"Then I suppose I'll have to leave the planet on my own before the bugs land and eat this stinking city." Jeltz sighed.

"The ship is parked somewhere in the center of the city in camouflage mode." Marvin told the Vogon.

"Well, it seems your robot has some good sense." Jeltz laughed, pulling out an intergalactic phone from his pocket, and quickly entering a text message. "I'll give this android the information you need." Jeltz typed something on the keypad on Marvin's chest. "There!, now if you will excuse me, I have t go."

A large UFO appeared in the distance and quickly approached. It hovered over the trio and suddenly beamed the Vogon aboard. The brick shaped craft then quickly rose and flew off.

"You traitor!" Zaphod scowled at Marvin. "How dare you!"

"He'll never find the ship." Marvin said. "He doesn't know what the camouflage code is."

"Yeah, I didn't think of that!" Zaphod laughed. "So where are those bugs going to land. I want to be a zillion miles in the opposite direction!"

"I've already passed that information on." Marvin said. "Let's get back to the ship. It should be fully powered back up by now."

"Good thinking, Marvin!" Zaphod said. "Now we can make our way back to Wriggly's Pleasure Planet."

* * *

><p><strong>Kay<strong>, Jay, and Astro were still in Cee's office when Astro heard the buzzing in his head. Marvin's high speed data transmission had been beamed directly into Astro's electronic brain's zetawave frequencies and the data was DMA'ed into his memory cells. It was obvious from the look on his face that he had been ESP'ed.

"I just got the dope from Marvin" A told his fellow MIB agents.

"You know where the bugs are going to land?" Kay asked.

"Sorta." A said. "The Vogons planted a homing beacon in the city. Once it was activated, it started sending out a signal to the Traul world where the Goa'uld smugglers had a transwarp freighter waiting to transport a squadron of bugs to this planet. The ship will home in on that beacon and land as close to it as possible."

"So where is that beacon, and when will the ship get here?" Jay questioned.

"Unless we can find that beacon transmitter and disable it, the bug ship could land within hours." A told them. "The Vogon's hid it somewhere in, or near Grant's tomb."

"You guys better high tail it uptown and start searching for the beacon transmitter." C ordered.

"We don't have any idea what it looks like, do we?" K said, looking at A.

"Marvin wasn't sure about that." A said. "But he told me that those beacons usually operate on a frequency of 127.256 GHz with a 10.7 MHz modulation."

"Wait, don't tell me." J said. "You can probably hear that."

"Sorta kinda." A laughed. "Look, why don't you guys take your car uptown and meet me. I'll run ahead and start looking right away."

"What are you going to do, fly?" J asked.

"Actually, I am." A said as he blasted through the ceiling, and flew uptown toward the upper West side.

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere<strong> just beyond the orbit of the moon, a large pyramid shaped starship came out of hyperspace. It entered a polar orbit around the earth and discharged a small landing craft. The daughter ship dropped into a lower orbit and extended a search antenna, and started to listen for the homing beacon that would guide it to its destination on the planet's surface. The craft quickly locked onto the signal it was programmed to search for, and entered a flight path for landing.

Astro flew over Riverside drive, approaching the memorial to 18th president of the United States. To his left he could see the Henry Hudson Pkwy and the Hudson River. The highway was jammed with late afternoon traffic. Up ahead, and to his right he could see the domed building that contained the Civil War General's remains. Suddenly, Astro was tossed about in the sky by the shock wave of a sonic boom. A saucer shaped aircraft cut across his flight path and made a rather sloppy landing in the middle of Sakura Park, just across from the Manhattan School of Music.

"Damn!" Astro radioed back to Kay and Jay. "A spaceship just crash landed across the street from Grant's Tomb. I'm going in to investigate!"

"We're only minutes away!" Kay radioed back. The highly modified black Ford was screeching uptown on the Henry Hudson Parkway. Kay took the exit just before Grant's Tomb, plowed across the tennis courts, and into Riverside drive. The three of them arrived just in time to see three bugs running out of the ship onto 122 Street heading East. Astro slammed the ship's hatchway closed and used his arm cannon to weld the large door shut, trapping the remaining bugs inside. He picked the Goa'uld landing craft up and blasted upward into space carrying the ship away from the Earth.

Meanwhile Kay and Jay broke into a run following the three escaping bugs across town. So far they hadn't attacked anything, but they were aware that the MIB were after them. Kay fired a few shots from his portable BFG, barely missing the fleeing bugs, but managing to leave scorch marks on a few buildings of the music school in the process. The bugs reached Broadway where they jumped over an embankment and entered the IRT subway tunnel heading downtown.

**Up** in Earth orbit, Astro gave the landing craft a good shove, sending it on a spiral path toward the sun. The mother ship spotted him and starting firing laser blasts at him. Astro tuned around and charged up his arm cannons. He took careful aim at the mother ship and hit a vital area. The ship's engines began to overheat and vent plasma. Suddenly, its reactor went super critical, and the mother ship exploded high over the Earth's South pole. The blast lit up the night sky over Antarctica and South America.


	11. Chapter 11

**RIB**

_**Part Eleven**_

**Reno **was a little annoyed at Astro for having deserted him for the past few days. During the day he'd been occupied with the seminars, but during his down time he really missed Astro's company. Today, had been a bit different. A cute Afro-American engineer named Rene who'd been attending the seminars had arrived late and instead of sitting up front found a seat next to Reno. The two of them had hit it off right away, discovering they had quite a lot in common, starting with being orphans who'd grown up with unconventional foster parents. She'd been raised by an Asian couple in New York's Chinatown, Reno felt strange telling her that he'd been raised by circus robots.

After the day's sessions had ended, the two of them had decided to check out a new nightclub up in Harlem. Year's ago, during the roaring twenties, Harlem had been N.Y. City's hot night spot. Toward the latter part of the twentieth century, that part of upper Manhattan had been a blight on the city with racial tension, crime, and general urban decay. Now in the twenty first century, Harlem had recovered with big money from urban reconstruction projects, the new Second Avenue subway, and young professionals moving in. The night club Reno and Rene had been given passes to was on the upper west side near City College on 137th street.

Reno meet Rene in the hotel lobby and they entered the subway, taking the IRT Seventh Avenue local uptown. The #1 train was crowded enough that they had to stand, hanging onto the metal hand holds. The train slowly made its way up to 96th Avenue, which was the last express station on the line. From here the #1 continued the rest of the way along Broadway till the end of the line at Van Cortland Park in the Bronx.

**Ronald** Smith had been a motorman for the NYCTA for over twenty years. He'd handled trains on every division, mostly the former BMT. While he had seniority, and could pretty much pick his own hours and assignment, with two daughters in college he was happy to take whatever overtime he could get. Today he was working the Broadway local on the IRT division, he'd be back on the N train in two days, once again coaxing his charges over the Manhattan Bridge.

Smith was familiar enough with the #1 train's route. The local started at South Ferry at the Southern tip of the island, snaking its way through the financial district under the World Trade Center. It skirted the western edge of Soho and Greenwich Village, along the theater district, and then cut the south west corner of Central Park at 59th Street, heading along Broadway. Up around 120th street the geology of Manhattan begins to show itself. This is the Manhattan valley area where the ground drops down from the average street level. The #1 train climbs out of the tunnel at 122nd Street onto a high El structure as the street drops below it, the tracks staying at a nearly constant grade. The train makes one stop on the El at 125th Avenue before reaching the end of the valley and once again descends below the streets. Now the reverse effect comes into play, with an uplifting of the land at Washington Heights. Here at 191st street the #1 is at the deepest level below the streets in the entire subway system at 180 below street level. The station still has full time elevator operators.

**Smith** peered out the window of the motorman's cab. The three orange 'holding' lights were illuminated, a signal from master control back at Jay Street that he needed to wait in the station for a connection with an express train on the adjacent track. Five cars back of Smith's position, Reno and Reno found seats as a good chunk of the crowd exited the train to transfer for the express train that had yet to enter the station. About 40 seconds later, a #2 train bound for 141St in the Bronx entered the station. It discharged its passengers, some of whom boarded the waiting local. Smith saw the holding lights go out and his conductor closed the doors on the train. The #1 jerked to a start and continued uptown.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Yuck!" <strong>Jay moaned trying to free his foot from a gooey pile of a steaming plastic like substance. "I just stepped in bug shit!"  
>Kay panned his flashlight left and right along the subway tunnel. The Two MIB agents had used a 'Batman' like rope gun to lower themselves from the 122st overpass to the subway tracks below to enter the tunnel where the three Bug Blatter creatures had gone to escape from them. The tracks were dimly illuminated by old style 17 watt incandescent lamps every 40 feet or so, just enough light for a workman to keep from tripping and breaking his neck, but not bright enough to see a giant man eating cockroach a few feet in front of you.<p>

"Those mother fuckers move faster than we thought." Kay yelled over to his partner.

"They're huge too!" Jay yelled back. "I think they could eat a bus whole if they wanted to."

"Or a subway train." Kay replied. "We're going to need help with this one."

* * *

><p><strong>The<strong> #1 train left the 103 Street station and made a slight veer to the left to follow the curve of the tracks. Up ahead was the Cathedral Pkwy station. Ron Smith slowed the train and artfully stopped exactly on the mark to the delight of the commuters who had chosen the exact spots to stand when the doors of the train opened. The jolt of the brakes pushed Reno and Rene closer together, which they didn't mind a bit.

* * *

><p><strong>Astro<strong> landed near Grant's tomb and looked around. He saw the MIB black Ford parked at a weird angle in the grass with the motor still running and the doors open. Using his infrared vision he could make out the foot tracks of Jay and Kay along 122nd Street ending at Broadway. Astro turned his hearing up all the way and could hear his fellow agents underground about a half a mile north of his current position. Leaping skyward he arched over the subway tracks and entered the tunnel. Astro turned on his eye searchlights and roared southbound over the tracks. In the distance he saw Kay and Jay just about to enter the 116 St station. There was something dark ahead of them.

* * *

><p><strong>Right<strong> after Smith pulled out of the 110th Street station, the smell hit him. The tunnel ahead was dark, as if a large black mass had filled it from wall to wall. Suddenly huge glowing eyes and glistening white teeth were reflected in the light from his train's headlamps. Smith blinked twice but the sight of the huge open mouth about to swallow his train wouldn't go away. He took his foot off the dead-man switch and ran out of the cab, though the empty first car and into the next, seconds before the front of the train was devoured by a giant roach from outer space.

The train slammed to a halt as the emergency brakes came on. The main lights went out, and the battery backed up emergency lights came on as the third rail shorted out. Rene huddled closer to Reno in fear as a loud moaning and crunching sound echoed through the tunnel, the result of roach teeth bitting into the steel of the first car. Reno fumbled through his pockets, and found the comm link transmitter he'd tuned to Astro's internal radio's private frequency.

"Astro!" he yelled into the transmitter.

_Author's note:  
>(I was thinking of the 1963 Japanese Tetsuwan Atomu episode #114 "Metro Monster" while writing this!) <em>


	12. Chapter 12

**RIB**

_**Part Twelve**_

"**Oh my GOD!** Those things are UGLY!" Jay yelled. Not 100 yards ahead of the two MIB agents were three bugblatter beasts. They resembled Terran cockroaches, but they were much larger, and had huge shark like mouths full of teeth. One of the monsters had just taken a bite out of an approaching subway train, the other two suddenly turned to face the MIB.

Kay raised his BFG and aimed it at one of the two monsters. At this range he couldn't possibly miss. He set the weapon on a narrow beam to avoid damaging the subway tunnel and fired, hitting one of the beasts in what he assumed was its chest. The monster roared with anger and charged toward the two men. Although it must have felt pain from the direct hit, it obviously wasn't injured very badly.

"Run for it!" Kay yelled as he ran in retreat.

Jay took off just a split second after his partner and quickly caught up with him. He suddenly tripped on one of the track cross ties and fell, slamming into Kay knocking him down. The two men tried to get up, but the bug was already upon them.

Kay looked up and and thought he saw his life flash by him as the monster was about to devour both of them. Suddenly, there was a huge flash of light and the bugblatter beast exploded into a large cloud of green slime. The two agents now found themselves sitting on the tunnel floor up to their necks in bug guts. A few yards away, someone was laughing hysterically.

Agent A stood there with a sick grin on his face. His left arm was still configured in the atomic cannon mode, and was slowly venting residual plasma.

"Nice shooting Tex!" Jay said.

Inside of his head, Astro heard Reno's voice. Just a few hundred yards away he could hear the lead bug still chomping on the subway train.  
>"I'll be right back!" Astro yelled as he flew past his fellow MIB's toward the subway train.<p>

"I'll be right there!" Astro radioed back to Reno.

**Astro** roared past the second beast and grabbed the first one that was eating the train, and then dragged it back toward the mouth of the tunnel. Kay and Jay backed up against the tunnel walls to keep from getting squished by the bug. The second monster ran past the two agents and reached the tunnel mouth before Astro did. Astro then carried the beast up to 10,000 feet and released it over the Long Island Sound. The bug smashed into the water at terminal velocity just as a particle beam from Astro's arm cannon vaporized it. The remaining bugblatter monster ran uptown along the Henry Hudson Parkway, heading for the Bronx.

After destroying the second monster Astro reentered the subway tunnel. He flew back to the where the train was parked on the tracks and entered through what was left of the second car. Fortunately, the passengers were able to escape back to the rear of the train before being eaten by the bug. The train was dark as the bugs had shorted out the third rail and killed power to the track. The battery operated emergency lights were dimly glowing. Astro switched on his eye searchlights at a low setting and walked toward the back of the train. He finally reached the middle car where Reno was sitting, with Rene wrapped around him.

"Hi" Astro waved. "It's OK, I took care of the monsters."

"Who are you?" Rene asked, as she released Reno from her grip.

"That's Astro, he's a good friend of mine." Reno said. "He also happens to be a robot."

Astro pulled Reno off of his seat and out of Rene's earshot.  
>"I'm going to have to neuralyze everyone in the train so they don't remember what just happened." Astro told Reno. "Standard MIB policy."<p>

"Even me?" Reno asked.

"Here, put these on" Astro told Reno, handing him a pair of dark sunglasses.  
>Astro removed the neuralyzer from his pocket and held it up above his head. He turned the device's power setting up a notch and clicked the switch on the side of it. A pulse of blue light filled the train for an instant and then went out. Astro took the glasses back from Reno and pocketed them while shutting down his eye lights.<p>

"I'm going to leave you now." Astro said out loud to the passengers. "The NYCTA police will be here shortly to get everybody out of the tunnel."

Astro walked through the front four cars of the train, flicking the neuralyzer once in each car. He reentered the tunnel and walked back to where Kay and Jay were standing.

"Everyone all right in the train?" Kay asked.

"Yes, no causalities." A said.

"You missed one of the bugs." Jay told him. "It ran past you like a bat out of hell and is now probably loose somewhere in the city."

"I guess we'll have to find it and eliminate it." Astro said.

"No shit, Sherlock." Kay replied. "Since that arm cannon of yours seems to be the only weapon we have that works against those things, it looks like you're elected."

"Kinda figured that." Astro said.

"Well let's get back to the car and figure out our next move." Kay said.


	13. Chapter 13

**RIB**

_**Part Thirteen**_

**K**, J, and A walked up the length of the subway tunnel toward the opening at 122nd Street. Astro lifted his two co-agents up to street level, landing with them a few feet from where the black Ford was awkwardly parked. K sat in the front seat with the door open and tuned the two way radio to the MIB HQ channel and reported in.

"Agent Kay, here. Two bugs have been dispatched, but one got away. Agent A thinks it was heading uptown toward the Bronx."

"Good to hear from you." C answered. "We've just got a report of a disturbance in Van Cortland Park that sounds like your bug has been spotted there. If you hurry, you might catch it. A bit earlier, there was a similar police report from up in Fort Tryon Park near the Cloisters."

"Let's get going." Kay said.

"You two get in the car." Astro told them. "I'll push."

The two MIB agents got in the car and closed the doors. "What do you mean you'll push?" Jay asked as the car was suddenly lifted into the air. Astro held the Ford over his head while flying toward the Bronx. Kay hummed 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic" to himself, while Jay made use of the wrapper from an old 'Happy Meal' he found in the back seat as a barf bag.

"Guess you get air sick real easy, don't you" Kay said.

"Shut up." his partner snapped back, just before upchucking again.

* * *

><p><strong>Astro<strong> gently set the Ford down in the golf course, right in the middle of the largest fairway. A crowd of people were gathered in the middle of the green as the three MIB agents walked up to them.

"We're from the government pest control department." Kay blurted out. "Please stand back and give us room to examine this thing."

The crowd stepped back at the sight of the three men dressed totally in black on a hot sunny day. Lying in the middle of the 7th green was a huge brown and black giant cockroach. The bugblatter beast lay on its back with its six legs up in the air, and its huge mouth of shark like teeth slightly open. A moist bit of steamy breath formed a cloud hanging over its open mouth. The giant insect like creature was still alive, but just barely.

"What killed it, Kay?" Astro asked. "I never touched that one."

Kay walked around the beast, carefully inspecting it. He extracted a pair of thick rubber gloves from his jacket pocket and put them on. Bending down, he opened one of the insect's bodily orifices and stuffed his left arm into it, like a Proctologist, or a Gynecologist might and examined the monster's insides. After probing around with his hand, he extracted a mass of gooey material.

"What are you doing, Kay?" Jay asked. "Goosing the thing, and pulling out dingle berries?"

"You need to learn your bug anatomy, partner." Kay said. "You're thinking of the wrong orifice. This bug is a female, and she was quite pregnant."

"What do you mean was?" Astro asked.

"I mean, she just laid a shit load of eggs someplace before she came here to die." Kay answered. "Our problems are about to multiply, quite literally!"

"How long do these things take to hatch?" Jay babbled.

"This species is quite amazing in that department." Jay said. "The eggs mature almost completely in the mothers body, she lays them only hours before they are ready to emerge from their cocoons." He explained, holding up the fibrous mass he had extracted from the now dead monster. "This one got left behind."

Jay dropped the sack like egg on the ground, and shot it with a blast from his BFG. The egg turned black from the weapon's heat and it burned with a disgusting smell. The stillborn remains of a midget bugblatter beast crawled out of the remains of the egg, and Jay shot it with his ray pistol. Astro gave it a blast from his right arm cannon for good measure.

"OK, everyone, I need your attention!" Kay yelled out to the crowd that had backed up a few feet. "I need to treat everyone for radiation poisoning. The MIB agents put on their dark sunglasses and pulled out their neuralyzers. "Just look at the light from these devices and you'll be protected from whatever nasty radiation these bugs may have produced." Kay told the crowd.

He and Jay neuralyzed the crowd as Astro lifted the remains of the now dead giant bug up and flew it to the west, dumping in somewhere in New Jersey where it would never be noticed.

_Author's note: As an ex-New Yorker, I never miss an opportunity to put N.J. down!_


	14. Chapter 14

**RIB**

_**Part Fourteen**_

**K** scratched his head in thought. "There was a police report of a bug sighting near the Cloisters in Fort Tryon Park just before it was spotted up in Van Cortland Park, where we found its remains." He said. "I'd bet it laid its eggs there."

"You might be right about that" J said. "maybe we should get back there asap."

"You want to drive, or should I fly us there?" Astro asked.

"We're out of barf bags, so I think we'd better drive." K said.

"Shut up!" J answered back.

"Very well, you can meet me there." Astro said. "I'll start looking around and report back by radio."

"Good idea." J replied, relieved that he would be traveling at ground level.

**The** black Ford took off southbound on the Henry Hudson Parkway, while Astro took to the sky. He landed just south of the Metropolitan Museum of Art annex, and began to look around. The park was located in a rather hilly part of upper Manhattan Island, and had lots of walkways winding through rocky outcroppings and lots of trees. Astro noticed a few cave like openings here and there, perfect places for a giant roach to crawl into and lay her eggs. He spotted a policeman near the museum and walked over to him, and quickly flashed his MIB ID in the cop's face.  
>"Government top secret" he quickly said. "Have you seen anything unusual in the past hour?"<p>

"Would a giant cockroach be considered unusual enough?" the patrolman replied. "It came out of the woods over there, and ran right by the museum grounds before disappearing. I think it was heading for the Bronx."

"Thanks." Astro said. "Er, I'm going to have to immunize you from roach virus." Astro quickly produced his neuralyzer and flashed the cop in the face with it. He turned and started toward the wooded area, in the direction where the policeman had pointed.

* * *

><p><strong>The<strong> passengers on the #1 train were escorted out of the tunnel by the Transit Police. Once on Broadway they were boarded onto uptown buses to complete their journeys. None of them except for Reno remembered a thing about the giant roach thanks to Astro's neuralyzer.

"So were were we going again?" Rene asked. She looked up at the ads posted in the bus, and noticed one by the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a special exhibit up at the Cloisters. The museum had special late hours all week for the attraction.

"Hey, let's go there!" she said pointing to the poster, completely forgetting the nightclub they had planned on going to. Reno figured that a quiet visit to the museum, and maybe a stroll though Fort Tryon Park afterwards, might be a bit more romantic than a loud nightclub, so he quickly agreed to the change of plans. "Sure, I think this bus goes right by the park" he replied.

* * *

><p><strong>K <strong>drove like a maniac, making the run from the Bronx to upper Manhattan in under ten minutes. He plowed into the park service entrance and parked the car just south of the museum. "Hey A, where are you?" K transmitted. "I'm In the wooded area just south of the museum. Look for a large stand of oak trees, next to a smaller stand of maples." Astro said.

The two MIB agents ran up the hill leading toward the area A had described. They got there just as Astro was walking out of a low cave in the side of the hill.

"There are lot's of these little openings in the outcroppings" Astro explained. "I figure a bug would look for a cave to lay her eggs."

"Sounds about right to me." K agreed. "Let's split up. We can inspect these hills more quickly if we do that."

They quickly divided the territory up between them, and started the search. Judging by the size of the park, it might take them most of the evening.

* * *

><p><strong>Reno<strong> and Rene got off the Broadway bus at Riverside drive and walked to the museum entrance. There was a small line of patrons waiting to get in A few members of the crowd were muttering something about a giant bug that had been spotted running from the park, and suggested that the reason for the museum having been closed for an hour had something to do with that. A policeman doing crowd control tried to squash the bug rumor, he explained there had been a brief power outage, which was why the subway had been out of order.

While they were waiting in line, Reno grabbed four hot dogs from a pushcart vendor and offered two of them and a Coke to his date. Rene accepted the fast food, and the two of them finished their makeshift dinner just as they finally reached the head of the line. Reno wiped some excess mustard from Rene's face, and then she took the napkin from him and returned the favor.

* * *

><p><strong>The<strong> three MIB agents had spend an hour searching through the caves, cracks and openings in the rocky outcroppings, but hadn't found a sign of the roach's nest. "I'm going to go up to get an aerial view in the infrared" A radioed to his companions. "Maybe I can spot her tracks."

"I wish you'd thought of that earlier." K said. "If my bugblatter beast biology is correct, we have about an hour left before those bastards hatch!"

* * *

><p><strong>Rene <strong>and Reno had made their way through the primary exhibit of the museum, and found themselves in a deserted part of the building. Reno put his arm around his date's waist and pulled her close, and she took his hand. They smiled at each other as they reached a rear exit to the building. "Want to take a walk?" Reno asked.

"Love to" Rene answered, and they started up the pathway towards the wooded area of the park. The walkway was lined with sodium vapor lights casting a yellow glow, which created strange shadows on the ground. A few owls hooted in the trees, and squirrels scampered away to hid from the night predator birds. They took the west fork in the walkway which slowly climbed up hill.

* * *

><p><strong>Astro <strong>flew upwards and started scanning the ground. J and K were on the east and south side of the rocky outcroppings, he flew toward the western edge. Carefully adjusting his vision into the infrared part of the spectrum he could make out the tracks the giant roach made on her exiting the park to head toward the Bronx. Looking to see where they came from, he traced them back to a small cavern on the south west side of the hill. Two people were walking arm in arm on the walkway towards that exact spot.

**There** was a park bench facing the Hudson River on the edge of the park. Reno and Rene sat on the bench and gazed into each other's eyes. They moved closer in an embrace and their lips met in a passionate kiss. Suddenly, there was an explosive noise from behind them as thousands of newly hatched giant cockroach like monsters ran out of a cavern about three hundred yards behind them.


	15. Chapter 15

**RIB**

_**Part Fitteen** _

**Reno** and Rene were startled by the loud CRACK! coming from behind them. They forgot about their lustful thoughts at the sight of a dark cloud pouring out from the trees that was heading right for them. It took a few seconds before their eyes could adjust to the eerie shadows caused by the monochromatic light of the low pressure sodium street lamps, then they could see what that dark cloud really was.

"OMG!" Rene yelled. "Giant Cockroaches! Thousands of them."

"Oh no, not again!" Reno cried, grabbing Rene's hand and pulling her off the bench. "Run for it!"

They took off running toward the imagined safety of the Museum complex, though Reno had little idea that the building would offer them safety from the invading horde of monsters for long. Halfway between where they started out ,and the museum, he looked over his shoulder to realize they weren't going to make it in time. The bugs were too fast.

**Astro** saw the newly hatched bugs blast out of the cavern, heading north. "I found them, just a bit late!" Agent A radioed to agents K and J. "They're heading for the Museum"

"Roger that!" K replied. "We're after them!"

From his vantage point a few hundred feet in the air Astro saw the two people that had been on the park bench were running for their lives to get away from the bugs, and that they were being overtaken by the hungry mob. He recognized them as Reno as his date. Astro swooped down and grabbed Reno with one arm and Rene with the other.

One moment they were running for their lives, the next moment they were several hundred feet in the air with Astro between them.  
>"Thanks, You got here just in time!" Reno said turning his head toward his friend. Rene who had suddenly gone from running away from hungry giant cockroaches to being held in midair by a flying robot, had had all the excitement she could handle, and fainted.<p>

Astro lit down in front of the downtown hotel that he and Reno had been staying at.  
>"You'll be safe here," he said. "I've got to get back and take care of those bugs!"<p>

Reno waved to his friend as Astro took off again, flying back uptown. Rene came out of the fog she was in, and clung on to Reno for support as the two of them walked into the hotel lobby.

* * *

><p><strong>K <strong>pulled out his portable BFG, and crouched down in a stable position to aim the powerful gun. He let loose a full power blast into the heart of the mob sending a mushroom cloud of debris high into the air. Several hundred dead bugblatter beasts rained down all around him and J, but there were still quite a few thousand of them still there.

Suddenly, the mob split in half. About a thousand of the hungry bugs did an about face and started advancing at a good 50 mph toward the two MIB agents.

"Oh Shit!" J said. He only had the small ray gun in his pocket. Though it didn't look quite as impressive as the BFG, it also had quite a punch. He aimed and fired at the advancing mob, cutting down a few dozen of the nearest invaders, while K let loose another round on the BFG. Most of the bugs near the museum turned about to join the mob advancing on the agents.

K quickly calculated the balance and realized that at this rate there would be at least one or two thousand bugs that would make it to them. "It's been nice knowing you partner" he said to J.

**Astro** arrived on the scene to see that his fellow agents had managed to distract most of the bugs away from the Museum by setting themselves up as tasty targets. They were now doing a good reenactment of the battle of the Little Big Horn, with themselves as the 7th Cavalry, and the bugs playing the role of the Lakota, Cheyenne and Arapaho tribes of the native Americans.

Astro morphed his arms into particle beam cannons and made a quick strafing run on the few remaining bugs advancing towards the museum. He then landed next to J and K and fired a huge double blast at the advancing enemy, creating a 400 foot deep crater in the middle of the park. Like lemmings advancing toward the sea, the bugs followed each other into the hole in the ground, which was slowly filling with muddy water. Astro had either hit the water table below the park, letting in the Hudson river, or had ruptured a water main. Within a few minutes there were several thousand drowned roach monsters sinking to the bottom of the new cesspool.  
>"I don't think the NYC Parks Department is going to be too happy about this one" J muttered.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Back<strong> at MIB HQ C debriefed the three agents.  
>"Well you guys did a good job handling the bugblatter beast threat." he told them. "The Vogons packed up and left the planet after your encounter with the one you hauled in here for questioning. Hopefully we've seen the last of them."<p>

"What about that Bebblebrox character?" K asked.

"I'm not sure." C told them. "Although there is one more related matter I need you to look into. Seems we have a demented robot on the loose in Coney Island. The police aren't quite sure how to handle him."

"Sounds like Marvin." Astro said. "I'll go look into that."


	16. Chapter 16

**RIB**

_**Part Sixteen**_

**The** black Ford headed over the Manhattan Bridge, and down Flatbush Avenue. At the Grand Army Plaza they turned onto Prospect Park West, and entered the Prospect Expressway. The highway ended at Church Avenue where it dumped them onto Ocean Parkway. At the end of that 8 lane wide thoroughfare, they turned right onto Surf Avenue and parked in front of Deno's Amusement Park in the heart of Coney Island.

"This is where he was spotted." K told A.

"Right." Astro said. "I'll deal with him. As a robot I can think at his level.  
>Anyway, Marvin isn't dangerous."<p>

"Just incredibly obnoxious." J said.

Astro ignored the remark and exited the car. He entered through the main gate of the small amusement center. High overhead, the Wonder Wheel towered above him. The famous Ferris Wheel had first opened in 1920. Astro walked past a few arcades and kiddie rides, and approached large Ferris Wheel. Sitting in one of the swinging cars, and refusing to get off was the silver android with the large sad looking eyes. Astro flashed his MIB badge to the operator of the ride, and walked toward the car where Marvin was held up.

"Hello Marvin." Astro said. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing much." The paranoid android sighed. "I'm just sitting here contemplating my navel, which I don't have. Makes it rather difficult to meditate."

"I'll have to ask you to leave the ride" Astro sighed. "There are some paying customers waiting in line."

"I suppose that had to happen." Marvin said. "I did try to pay for a ticket you know. I guess Alterian currency isn't widely accepted on this planet."

"I'm afraid not." Astro agreed.

"I really don't know what is going to become of me." Marvin sighed. "Zaphod abandoned me here after paying off the Vogons. Actually, I was part of the payment to them, but the Vogons left me here. Said I didn't like their poetry or something. Actually, I really didn't mind the Vogons reading me poetry, it was just the kind of distraction I needed to think."

"If you say so." Astro said.

Marvin got out of the Ferris Wheel car and walked with Astro to the amusement park exit. They got in the black Ford and headed back to the MIB HQ.

* * *

><p>"<strong>What's<strong> going to happen to Marvin?" Astro asked C back at HQ.

"I don't know." C said. "We might be able to use him here, but he'd need some reprogramming."

"Hmm, I've got an idea." Astro laughed. "Can I take Marvin with me?"

"Fine with me." C said. "But I guess you'd better ask Marvin."

Astro removed his dark glasses and handed them along with his neuralyzer to C.  
>"I'll be leaving NYC tomorrow, so I guess I'll have to hand in my resignation." Astro said. "It was a blast working with you guys"<p>

C gave Astro a serious look. "Normally, when an MIB agent leaves the force, we have to wipe his memory. Since that won't work with you, I'll have to have you swear an oath of secrecy."

"No problem." Astro said. "No one will ever learn anything about your organization from me."

"Well goodbye then, and thanks a lot for your help." C told Astro. He handed the black glasses back to the boy robot. "You can keep the suit, shoes, and the glasses as a present from us."

Astro shook hands with K, J, and C. He and Marvin left the MIB HQ and headed uptown toward the hotel where Astro and Reno were staying.

* * *

><p><strong>Reno's<strong> seminar was over and he was busy packing to go back home when Astro and Marvin walked into the hotel room.

"Who's your friend?" Reno asked, looking at Marvin.

"He's a robot that was abandoned here on Earth." Astro said. "He used to serve aboard a star ship. Poor guy is rather depressed all the time. I thought he might make a good companion for Atlas."

Reno took a look at Marvin and broke into laughter. "Now that's too cruel! I like that idea!"

"Did you say goodbye to your new girl friend?" Astro asked.

"Rene and I exchanged phone numbers and email addresses." Reno said. "She promised to come visit me in Japan next summer. I think I will be returning to New York again soon anyway."

"OK!" Astro laughed, slapping Reno on the back.

"How about you?" Reno said.  
>"Well I had fun working with the authorities, but I'll be glad to be getting home." Astro said.<p>

"By the way, who were those guys in the black suits?" Reno asked.

"What guys?" Astro said with a straight face.

"Sworn to secrecy, er?" Reno said. "OK, I can dig that."

**Marvin** didn't enjoy the flight back to Japan. "Here I am stuffed in the cargo hold of a 777. Brain the size of a planet, and they don't buy me a ticket, they send me steerage class." he muttered all the way there.

_The End_


End file.
